Hoodening 1968

Adam:
Let's leave old Dobbin — tie him there
They might not like him — folks in here
Wag:
He's pullin' now with might and main
Here, Molly, help me hold his rein
Moll:
Here, Adam, claw hold of his halter…
Wag:
Too late, the nag is going to bolt! A
Pox upon the worthless jade!
Go, boy and fetch him
Adam:
He's afraid!
He's kicking up a horrid din
We didn't ought to let him in
Moll:
He's smashed a table and a chair —
Wag:
We can't just go and leave him there
Adam:
Creatin' such a dreadful scare
Moll:
It's just not fair…
Wag:
Come on, who'll dare?
Adam:
I'm game then, Joe, if you come too
Wag:
All right, I'll tell you what we'll do
We'll all dash in when I count three
Now, all of you, get close to me…

ONE, TWO, THREE

Evening masters, don't mind us -
We've come to catch this rotten cuss
You get behind him, Moll, but mind
His great hooves kicking out behind

Adam:
And watch his teeth, for one bite could
Divide your leg like rotten wood
Boy:
And when he rears, watch his feet
One blow'll smash your head as neat
As any rotten apple's split
Wag:
Come on then, all of you, you fit?
Adam:
There, I've got the old beast's rein
Now he's broken free again
Boy:
Old Joe's grabbed him by the tail
He's holdin' on, but that'll fail
Wag:
Look, poor Martin's in the corner
He's knelt on him!
Adam:
The lad's a gorner!
Come on, we must get Martin free
Wag:
I've got his bridle. Who'll help me?
Moll:
Do something can't you, stupid muts
Adam:
Here, stick this knife deep in his guts
Wag:
Light a fire beneath his belly…
Moll:
He's getting up!
Adam:
Good Lord, poor Martin's pulpy jelly!
Moll: (Tearfully)
Inform his mother of the worst -
Trampled by this jade accurst!
Wag:
Stiffening bones and blood congealing
Adam:
Poor lad's past old Bowie's healing
Wag:
Grey trickling from his head — a brain..
He'll never be the same again!
All (except Boy):
With due decorum fold his hands
Wrap his eyes with reverend bands
People, join to ours your tears
Cut off in 's prime, aged twenty years
Moll:
The unripe apple's off the tree
He's cold and dead as dead can be
Adam:
The unfledged bird has left the nest
Look where his hooves went through his chest
Moll:
The egg, alas, was hardly hatch'd
Before his soul ws cruelly snatch'd
Wag:
The virgin flower could hardly bloom
Ere tolled for him the stroke of doom
Moll: (Recovering)
But wait a minute; cease the dolour
Try opening the poor lad's collar
Adam:
Here, let me have a grope…
[Boy giggles]
Wag:
He moved! And while there's life there's hope
Moll:
The colour's coming to his brow…
Wag:
Let's have you up, boy — steady, now
Adam:
Rescued by Moll from death's dark brink
Here, let's restore him with a drink
Boy:
But first give these folks here a song
Just to show we meant no wrong
Adam:
Look, Dobbin now is all submission
Wag:
Keep your seats then folks, and listen
Silence, please, and then we'll start…
[Dobbin's only "line"]
Wag:
Oh, Dobbin, 'tis no place to…
Adam: (quickly)
NOT that word here, Joe, say 'let wind'
Wag:
That deed once done, you can't rescind
Boy:
Forgive him folks; the nag's no breeding…
Wag:
(Either that or too much feeding -
He ate the pot plants by the door
We best be gone; he'll do some more!)
Adam:
Come on, boys, we're in disgrace
Let's beg forgveness in this place
Let's speak the final words and go
Come Dobbin, Martin, come on, Joe
All:
Now, friend, despite old Dobbin's… part
Come open up your generous heart
You know this money's not for us
Come, open up… don't make a fuss
It's for poor people overseas
Who've got no food and starve and freeze
So open up, the moths release
And silver only, if you please
You'll have to leave it when you die
You'll get a blessing with it. Why
Build treasure up below where rust
And steady nibbling doth corrupt?
And, just to show we don't offend
Please clap us all, my dear good friend
Your gifts shall help us on our way
Friends, may you live for many a day
Or, if you need some further hints
Here's a last one, good men, since
If ye the Hooden Horse do feed
Throughout the year ye shall not need.

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